The yard near our building where the children play.

Since the truce started we have had gas for the car and for cooking. The host family members have been standing in long queues for two days to get gas for home. This is too much. They’re also trying to find alternative ways because they’re very exhausted. Sometimes one of them goes and stands in a long queue during the day and someone else takes the night shift. Or for example someone who knows them will help out but then they will have to help others later to get gas. I was hoping to fill the tank of my car and keep it ready in case we get to go back to Gaza City. As I mentioned my car was bombed at the beginning of the war but I still managed to drive it afterwards. I’ll also need gas if I end up fleeing to Egypt - we really do not want to go there but if we are forced to flee I have to be ready. The thing is that people are ending up spending the entire days of the truce queueing for gas instead of doing useful things for themselves and the community. I’ve also just learnt that the truce has been extended for the next two days as well but we still can’t go back home. 

Wednesday, November 29th

Yesterday I learnt that a friend of mine and her husband were both killed. She’s a doctor and he’s a well-known consultant here in Gaza. I know her because she’s the mother of one of the young people I used to work with in the past who was studying at the veterinary college in Gaza. I also finally got some news about my home. Because there’s a truce, someone was able to check on the building and find out what’s going on.

We lived on the third floor of our building. I found out that the second floor and the sixth floor were bombed. Since I live there I can tell you that the second floor was occupied by a family who I’ve known for many decades and I can confirm that they have no ties at all with Hamas. In fact they are a peaceful and calm Christian family. They are all civilians. In addition, the sixth floor was bombed and I know for a fact that nobody lives there. The person who used to live there has no ties with Hamas either, but anyway he passed away many years ago. He was Yasser Arafat’s brother, Fathi Arafat. His heirs don’t even live in Gaza - they live in Ramallah - and so the apartment is closed and empty. I can tell you this because I live in the building and there’s a guard; I see who goes in and out and nobody goes to that floor.

Our building was partially destroyed during the 2020 war and now it’s been hit again by 2 bombs. Before, when it was partially destroyed it was classified as an uninhabitable place so it took us 3 years to return back to it... Because I have been hosted by a family here in Rafah, I was hoping to host at least two families with me once I returned back to Gaza City. I don’t know who they would be but I want to pay back the kindness of the family we are staying with through helping other families that need it.

I also have confirmed the news that my friend who lost her three children is still alive and so is her husband. The dilemma is how is she going to live after she lost her three children all at once, especially after waiting seven years for them to arrive.. how are all these people who have lost such close family members going to go on with their lives?

Still in spite of all this, life has to go on. One of the things I’ve observed is that after this week of being in the truce is that everyone just wants to get on with their lives in peace. Everyone around me has been saying that we’ve forgotten everything about the bombing, it’s like it never existed… I don’t want to hear the sounds of bombing and air strikes ever again in my life. Let’s wait and see if there will be any news about extended truce.

Saturday, December 2nd

This morning I woke up to the sound of bombing at 6.55am. Last night we already knew this would happen because the Israeli planes were flying over Rafah. Later on in the day there was another huge bombing in the city. There was also an airstrike next to where I live today, as well as many others - we are hearing the sound of bombing over and over again. It’s absurd that we are starting to feel like hearing these bombs is becoming repetitive. However, the impact of them is never repetitive. The impact is huge.

Sunday, December 3rd

Last night was really difficult because there were drones flying over our heads the entire night. I really couldn’t sleep and I woke up this morning with an intense headache. Yesterday I woke up to the news that there will no longer be any humanitarian support coming into Gaza. But then the news changed to saying that humanitarian support will be decreased for Gaza, compared to what it’s been the last few days in the truce. This is going to have a huge impact on the people here.

The word humanitarian assistance is very irritating to me…When you say humanitarian assistance it sounds like we are a needy people…

I took a picture of the cousins and brothers of the newborn baby who came to the house. They are watching the baby sleeping. I took that picture because a newborn baby means a new life and gives a new hope which I hope we will have in the future. Also watching newborn babies is something that makes so many ideas race through your mind - ‘How are they going to live? Are they going to live long? What is the environment they are going to grow up in?’ All these questions come up while looking at that child - his name is Muhammad and they are calling him the Jerusalem Muhammad because he was born in Jerusalem when his mother was sent for treatment.

Thursday, December 21st

…It has been heart-breaking over the last couple of days trying to look for my aunt from my mother’s side and my aunt from my father’s side. We still can’t find them, we don’t know where they are and we don’t know what they are doing. Nothing makes your heart feel like it’s bleeding tears more than watching children crying, wanting milk or food, and knowing that this cannot be provided because people do not have money or products are not available in the market or even both.

Yesterday we heard terrifying news about our relatives so maybe this is the first real story of terror that I’m telling in this blog. One of our distant relatives (my cousin's brother in law) was with his family at home when Israeli soldiers entered their building. They separated the men from the women and they took the men in the street. The soldiers were singing loudly and dancing and they asked my relative and all the men to take off all their clothes while the women and children in the house were forced to watch what was happening. Then they actually shot the men dead on the ground and they died naked in the cold. Then several women and children were shot as well. There was one child who was breastfeeding and they were calling for help and support from everywhere. We don’t know what’s happening now with them. We aren’t able to get through to them. I first learnt about this on the news but I did not relate this to my family. Then my relative in Egypt shared the news via a family WhatsApp group.

The stories we hear on a daily basis are horrific. We heard about somebody who was asked to enter a house that was knocked down to check if there was anyone left alive there or not. When he came out of the destroyed house he was pale and in shock. He described how he had seen a woman standing in the middle of the rubble with her eyes wide open staring at him and holding a knife. Of course, no one believed it and they wanted to know what was going on. When they entered the rubble they found that there was a woman who had been killed and yes, she was holding a knife. Her arm with the hand holding the knife was at 90 degrees and in her other hand there was a potato, which means she was about to start cooking her food. She ended up in a standing position after the explosion because her body was leaning against a rock.

It is horrific hearing about people in Gaza City including my own family members who have been without any food for days now. We don’t know what’s happening with them. What we know for sure is that when one of the families was losing hope of finding anything to drink or eat they took out the water that was still in the bottom of the automatic laundry machine, which is usually disgusting unhealthy water that could have been there for days and months without having anyone checking on it. They drank from that water. That was the only means to keep them alive.

Ruba was born in Gaza City, where she has lived most of her life. For more than 20 years she has worked with international humanitarian organizations focusing on children’s rights and gender issues both in Gaza and the MENA region. In Gaza, she worked closely with local communities to strengthen social protection systems for children and their families. She is also passionate about the care and wellbeing of animals and is active in Gaza’s animal welfare initiatives